About Melissa
From holding everything together…
to feeling safe enough to simply be myself again —
and now Creating Space for people and animals to discover this for themselves too.
Animals have always felt like home to me.
Before I can even really remember, I was around horses. My mum bred Welsh ponies, and growing up there was always animals, movement, nature and life happening around me. Horses especially became a place where I felt calm, connected, and able to simply be myself.
Looking back now, I think animals taught me a lot long before I had words for any of it.
They respond honestly.
They feel everything.
They don’t hide tension, stress, softness, uncertainty or trust.
And over time, I think I learnt to listen through them.
That connection shaped much of my life. I studied animal behaviour and mammalian physiology, worked as a vet nurse and receptionist, and later spent many years dairy farming alongside my husband Scott here in New Zealand.
We worked our way through sharemilking, raising calves, caring for our herd, building a life and future together.
From the outside, life probably looked quite capable.
But underneath that, I had also become very good at holding things together.
Like many people, I learned early how to stay responsible, aware of everyone around me, and focused on what needed to be done.
I became good at keeping things moving.
Staying strong.
Staying capable.
Putting my own needs quietly to the side without really noticing I was doing it.
And for a long time, that worked.
Until eventually life started asking me to slow down and listen more honestly to myself too.
“Somewhere along the way, I became so focused on holding everything together…
that I forgot what it felt like to simply be myself”.
.”
Somewhere Along the Way
Leaving farming became a huge turning point for me. At the time it felt like so much more than changing careers or lifestyle. There was grief in it. Identity shifts. Uncertainty. But also a quiet knowing underneath it all that I couldn’t keep living so disconnected from myself anymore.
Not disconnected in some dramatic way.
Just slowly over time.
I think many people understand that feeling.
Somewhere along the way, we become so focused on coping, caring for others, staying safe, staying needed, or holding everything together… that we lose touch with parts of ourselves without even realising it.
A lot of my own healing journey began through learning how to listen again.
To my body.
To my emotions.
To the patterns I kept repeating.
To the beliefs and survival responses sitting underneath things I thought were simply “who I was.”
And the more I explored this work, the more I began to see how deeply the body and subconscious hold onto what we experience.
Not because something is wrong with us.
Often because at some point, those patterns genuinely helped us cope, belong, stay connected, or feel safe.
Learning to Listen Differently
While I now work with Emotion Code®, Body Code®, Belief Code® and ConTact C.A.R.E, for me the work itself has become less about the modalities… and more about creating space for people and animals to reconnect with themselves safely.
I don’t see healing as “fixing” people.
Most of the people I work with are incredibly caring, aware and capable people. Often they’ve spent years holding everything together for everyone else. But underneath that can be emotional pressure, nervous system overload, protective patterns, subconscious beliefs, or simply a quiet sense of feeling disconnected from themselves and unsure why.
And often the body has been communicating that for a long time.
Sometimes through anxiety.
Sometimes through emotional overwhelm.
Sometimes through pain, exhaustion, tension or shutdown.
Sometimes simply through feeling stuck in life and not fully understanding why.
Over time, I’ve come to see that when people finally feel safe enough to slow down and listen differently, things can begin to soften that they’ve been carrying for years.
Not through force.
Not through pushing.
And not through endlessly analysing themselves.
Just through creating enough safety and awareness for the body and subconscious to soften what has been held for so long.
Some sessions are emotional.
Some are incredibly quiet.
Some create huge shifts.
Others unfold more gently afterward through daily life, relationships, emotions, physical symptoms, or simply feeling more like themselves again.
I’ve learnt not to force what someone’s system is ready for.
The body already knows the pace it needs.
What Animals Continue to Teach Me
Animals continue to be some of my greatest teachers in this work.
They are incredibly sensitive to the emotional environment around them and often mirror far more than people realise. Horses especially have shown me how deeply stress, tension, emotional suppression and nervous system patterns can affect both the body and behaviour.
I love working not only with animals themselves, but also with the relationship between animals and their humans.
Often when one begins to shift, the other does too.
Today through The Healing Barn, I work with people and animals around the world from our home base in Cambridge, Waikato, New Zealand, offering Emotion Code®, Body Code® and Belief Code® sessions both online and remotely.
But underneath all of it, what matters most to me is creating a space where people and animals feel safe enough to simply be themselves.
Without needing to hold everything together quite so tightly.
Because in my experience, healing is often less about becoming someone new…
…and more about gently releasing the layers that stopped you feeling safe enough to be who you already were.
— Melissa Holdem
Co-founder of The Healing Barn
A Gentle Place to Begin
You don’t need to know exactly what’s wrong.
You don’t need to be fixed.
If something feels “off,” or you sense you may be carrying more than they need to, we offer a gentle way to support release and rebalance.
You’re always welcome to reach out with questions before booking.
Ways We Help
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![Old wooden barn in a field with tall grass and trees, hills in the background, during sunset.]()
Work with your life & direction
You've thought your way through it long enough—now it's time to feel it. Scott’s coaching helps you integrate insights and move through the tension you've been avoiding. This is about deep, somatic healing that goes where words can't, allowing you to reclaim your story without letting it run your present.
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![release your emotions and grow again]()
Work with your Body & Subconsious
Melissa's work offers gentle release to the trapped emotions and beliefs that keep you stuck, helping to clear the energetic blocks that impact your physical and emotional wellbeing. This profound method can often address the root cause of discomfort and limitation.
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![Hands releasing shoulder tension; pain relief, mobility.]()
ConTact C.A.R.E
Often, old injuries and impacts leave 'flinchlocks' in the body, creating persistent pain and tension. ConTact C.A.R.E offers a gentle, hands-on approach to release these trapped pressures, restoring mobility and bringing profound physical relief. Experience true freedom in your body.
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Work with Animals
Animals feel more than we often give them credit for.
Melissa offers remote Emotion Code, Body Code and Belief Code session for animals, supporting emotional release, behavioural challenges, anxiety, trauma recovery, and nervous system regulation in horses, dogs, cats, cow and other animals.
