She Could Sleep—But Only While Being Held
When a baby will only sleep while attached to you, everyone’s need for rest begins to revolve around keeping that baby settled.
You wait until she is deeply asleep before carefully lowering her into the bassinet. You move slowly, hoping this time she will stay settled. Then, not long afterwards, she wakes and needs to be back against Mum or Dad again.
That had become everyday life for the family of a nine-week-old baby I recently worked with. She could sleep, but she wanted to sleep on one of her parents. If they placed her in her bassinet, she rarely remained there for longer than 30 minutes.
This had been happening for approximately six weeks. Mum and Dad were struggling to get decent sleep themselves, and they had very little time when one of them wasn’t holding their baby. They were tired and finding it difficult to get the rest they needed to nourish themselves properly.
So although sleep was part of the difficulty, the real problem wasn’t that their baby couldn’t sleep.
It was that they couldn’t put her down.
Looking underneath what was happening
When I began the first online session, Mum’s concern was understandably that her baby wouldn’t remain asleep in her bassinet. But rather than working on “sleep” alone, I followed what came up in connection with the situation.
The focus that emerged was helping the baby feel safer and more able to be independent. It wasn’t about teaching her that she shouldn’t need her parents or trying to force her to sleep separately. It was about working with what her body appeared to be holding around feeling safe when she wasn’t physically attached to Mum or Dad.
Although I call my work Emotion & Belief Sessions, I don’t go into a session deciding which part of the work needs to be used. I begin with the real-life situation and follow what the body brings up in connection with it.
This baby’s session was predominantly Emotion Code work. Using muscle testing, I identified and released unprocessed emotional energy connected with what she was experiencing. Because the session was online, the baby didn’t need to actively participate, explain how she was feeling or understand what I was doing.
During the session, I released emotions connected with the baby, along with some emotions from Mum that also came up in relation to the focus.
Her mum emailed me afterwards:
“Hey Melissa, your session has made a huge difference. Thank you so much. She slept six hours straight in her bassinet the first night and seven hours in the bassinet last night. Plus she’s way less fussy in her car seat and even had a little sleep in it when we had it on the pram. My husband can’t believe how much of a difference it’s made. Such a powerful session.”
What stood out to me wasn’t only that she slept for six hours and then seven hours. It was how closely the change reflected the focus of the session.
Her parents had come to me because they couldn’t put their baby down. The work led us to safety and being able to settle more independently. The change then appeared in her ability to remain asleep in her bassinet without needing to be physically attached to them.
For her parents, that wasn’t simply a change in their baby’s sleep. It meant they could put her down. They could get a longer stretch of sleep themselves and begin to have a little time in which neither of them needed to be holding her.
As soon as she was placed in them, she screamed
There was another everyday situation that remained very difficult for this family.
Their baby was extremely unsettled in both her car seat and her pram. Generally, as soon as she was placed in either of them, she would begin screaming. Occasionally she might tolerate being there for around ten minutes, but usually the distress began almost immediately.
Mum had noticed some improvement around the car seat after the first session, but it was still creating enough distress that we made it the focus of another online session one week later.
Once again, the session was predominantly Emotion Code work. I released emotions and energies connected with the baby, along with a few from Mum. I also checked the emotional energy connected with the car seat and pram themselves and released what came up.
That part may sound unusual if energy work is new to you. Within this work, I can check not only the emotional energy held by a person or animal, but also whether there is emotional energy attached or linked to a particular object. When a baby or animal has a strong response to something specific, I can include that object in the session as well. I don’t decide beforehand where the answer should be. I begin with the focus and follow the information that comes through muscle testing.
Her mum contacted me after the second session:
“Hey Melissa, she fell asleep in her car seat in the car yesterday! And we managed to get a really nice walk with the car seat on the pram and she just chilled! It’s honestly so life-changing. It’s like having a different baby. Thank you so, so much.”
Again, the change closely reflected the focus we had worked with. A baby who would generally begin screaming as soon as she was placed in her car seat fell asleep in it. A family who had struggled to use the pram was able to go for a walk while she relaxed.
These can sound like small, ordinary things until you are the parent who cannot put your baby down, travel peacefully in the car or take her for a relaxed walk. For this family, those everyday changes felt life-changing.
What this story shows about the work
Beginning with one real-life situation gives the session something specific to connect with. The situation isn’t necessarily the original cause; it is where the response is showing up now. Focusing on that moment can help the body bring forward the emotional energy that comes with it.
When I’m working directly with an adult, I may ask where they feel that response in their body and what the sensation feels like. A baby or animal can’t describe that for me, so I begin with the behaviour that can be observed and use muscle testing to follow the emotional energy connected with it.
The first concern involved sleep, but the baby could sleep. What her parents were really struggling with was that she couldn’t remain settled when they put her down. The work led us underneath that behaviour to feeling safe and being able to settle more independently.
The second concern involved two practical objects, but her body had a strong and immediate response to being placed in them. That gave us a different focus and different emotional energy to work with.
In both sessions, the work was predominantly Emotion Code. There was no need for the baby to tell me why she was responding that way, remember an experience or understand the process. We began with what was happening in everyday life, used muscle testing to identify the emotional energies connected with it, and released what came up.
People sometimes suggest that changes following energy work are simply a placebo effect. For me, that explanation doesn’t fit experiences like this. A nine-week-old baby has no conscious understanding that an online energy session is taking place. She doesn’t know what the focus is, and she isn’t expecting herself to respond differently afterwards.
This doesn’t mean every baby who wants to be held, struggles with a bassinet or screams in a car seat is holding the same emotional energy. Each baby, family and situation is individual, and physical, medical and practical causes of distress still need to be considered.
But it does show why I remain curious about what may be sitting underneath a response rather than focusing only on the behaviour we can see.
This family’s first problem looked like sleep, but it was really about never being able to put their baby down. The work led us to safety and independence. A week later, a different focus led to a different change.
That is what Emotion Code work can look like in real life. Not deciding what the answer must be, but beginning with the situation that is affecting everyday life and asking what the body may be responding to underneath it.
If there is a particular situation creating a strong emotional, physical or behavioural response for you, your child or an animal, you can learn more about my Emotion & Belief Sessions through The Healing Barn.