Why certain comments, situations and reactions can bother us far more than we expected.

Why Did That Get Under My Skin?

Sometimes it’s the smallest things that seem to bother us the most.

Someone makes a comment at work and you’re still thinking about it hours later. Your partner says something in a certain tone and you immediately feel defensive. One of the kids rolls their eyes, ignores you, or gives you a smart answer and suddenly you’re far more wound up than the situation probably deserves.

At the time, it can feel obvious why you’re annoyed. They were rude. They didn’t listen. They questioned you. They pushed too far. And sometimes that’s completely fair.

But then later, once things have settled down, there can be another question sitting underneath it:

Why did that get under my skin so much?

Because not everything affects us in the same way. One person can say something and we barely give it another thought. Someone else can make a very similar comment and it sticks with us for the rest of the day.

Often it isn’t only about what happened. It’s also about what we made it mean.

Maybe the comment felt like, They don’t respect me.
Maybe being questioned felt like, They think I don’t know what I’m doing.
Maybe someone ignoring you brought up, Nothing I say matters anyway.
Or perhaps something being moved, forgotten or left undone seems minor from the outside, but inside it feels like, Nobody gives a shit about the things that matter to me.

Once that meaning gets attached, the reaction can become much bigger than the moment itself.

At this Speak Up Cambridge Men’s Group, we’re going to slow some of those everyday moments down and look at what might actually be happening underneath them.

This isn’t about being told you’re too sensitive, that you shouldn’t get angry, or that other people’s behaviour doesn’t matter. It’s about becoming more curious about why certain things seem to hit a nerve, what they bring up in us, and why we can sometimes stay stuck on them long after the moment has passed.

The more we can recognise what is happening in us, the more choice we have in how we respond.

As always, there is no pressure to share. You’re welcome to come along, listen, have a laugh with a few good blokes and take whatever lands for you.

Thursday 5 November 2026
7pm
The Healing Barn
1659 Cambridge Road, Cambridge

Speak Up Cambridge is a donation-based men’s group. You’re welcome to simply turn up on the night.