Sometimes we assume we’re exhausted because we’re doing too much.

And sometimes that’s true.

But there can be another kind of exhaustion that comes from spending too much of your life doing things that don’t really fit you, while holding yourself back from the things that actually make you feel alive.

You might be good at your job. You might be capable, reliable and the person everyone turns to when something needs doing. But being good at something doesn’t necessarily mean it gives you energy.

There can be a big difference between what you can do and what actually feels natural to you.

And then there’s another drain that can be even harder to see.

Sometimes part of you knows what you want. More freedom. More time with your family. A different direction. Adventure. Purpose. Creativity. Connection. Or simply the feeling of having some life left in you at the end of the week.

But another part of you is saying:

Be responsible.
Don’t take the risk.
You should be grateful for what you’ve got.
You can do that later.
What if it doesn’t work?

When those two parts keep pulling against each other, it takes energy.

Sometimes you’re not only tired from what you’ve been doing.

You’re tired from fighting yourself.

This week we’ll explore

We’ll look at what genuinely fuels you, what regularly drains you, and where you may be spending energy on things that no longer fit the person you are becoming.

We’ll also look at those places where you know something would feel good, meaningful or alive — but you keep resisting it.

Not so that you have to quit your job, walk away from responsibility or suddenly change your whole life.

The point is simply to notice what is happening.

What gives you energy?

What costs you energy?

What are you doing because you genuinely choose it — and what are you doing because you’ve convinced yourself you have to?

And where might two different parts of you be pulling in opposite directions?

Sometimes simply seeing that conflict makes it easier to understand why you’ve been feeling flat, frustrated, stuck or exhausted.

Speak Up Cambridge Men’s Group

Speak Up is a relaxed and grounded space for men to have conversations we don’t always get the opportunity to have elsewhere.

You don’t need to have anything figured out, and you don’t have to share anything you don’t want to. You’re welcome to come along, listen and be part of the conversation.

Thursday 13 August 2026
7:00pm
The Healing Barn, Cambridge
Donation welcome